|
MICROSOFT SHOULD MAKE CARS, GM SHOULD MAKE SOFTWARE
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared
the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer
industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar
cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response
to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release
stating the following: "If GM had developed technology
like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following
characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would
crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the
road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway
for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and
drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as
a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse
to restart;
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car,
unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would
have to buy
more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered
by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and
twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent
of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator
warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general
car fault' warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the
same butt size.
9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?'
before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever,
your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in
until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also
purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now
a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them
nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car's performance to diminish
by 50 per cent or more.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car
buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again
because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off
the engine.
|
